Everybody Loves a Scoundrel:
Our Favorite Rogues in
Children’s Literature
by Tom Burns
It’s been said that bad guys have all the fun, but do you know who REALLY has the most fun, particularly in children’s literature? The rogues, the scoundrels, the devil-may-care characters that dance on that thin line between naughty and nice. Because most kids don’t really want to be either the virtuous hero or the fiendish villain. To quote last summer’s blockbuster “Guardians of the Galaxy,” they want “a bit of both.”
If your kids like their characters bad enough to be interesting, but good enough to root for, here are some of our favorite charming-yet-morally-dubious rogues from children’s lit.
The Cat in the Hat (The Cat in the Hat)
He’s one of the earliest (and best) literary scoundrels your kids will ever meet. Yes, Sally and her brother end up having fun and nothing is really damaged in the end, but that darn Cat is no hero. He’s the walking embodiment of chaotic good. He sneaks into your house, throws your world into disorder, and sulks away before your mom gets home. Which is one of many reasons why we love him.
Willy Wonka (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory)
Make no mistake — Willy knew EXACTLY what was going to happen to those kids before they got to the factory. He got that chocolate pipe ready, he rehearsed the “Augustus Gloop” song with the Oompa-Loompas … Willy had a plan. And it wasn’t a very nice plan, but then (aside from Charlie), they weren’t very nice children, were they?
Artemis Fowl (Artemis Fowl)
How can you not love a 12-year-old criminal genius? Particularly when that fiendish mastermind not only proves the existence of the supernatural, but also kidnaps an elf to ransom her back to her own kind? That takes moxy and it’s a credit to author Eoin Colfer that his pint-sized hero is SO confident, outrageous, and bold that you can’t stop yourself from hoping he pulls it all off. (It also helps that his motivations end up being marginally purer than one might think.)
Vordak the Incomprehensible (Rule the School)
What’s more outrageous than a child-sized master-thief? What about a kid-sized supervillain? Vordak the Incomprehensible is an over-the-top comic-book bad guy with a hilarious inner monologue. In Rule the School, an experiment goes wrong, turning the grown Vordak into a middle schooler. So what does he do? He sets his sights on world domination, starting with the upcoming class president election. Vordak isn’t redeemable like some of the scoundrels on this list, but he’s so haplessly, harmlessly evil that you can’t help but love him.
Fred and George Weasley (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)
Legendary pranksters Fred and George were always the liveliest students at Hogwarts, but it was in Order of the Phoenix that they truly got to cut loose and show what they could do. Facing the pure foulness of temporary headmistress Dolores Umbridge, Fred and George demonstrated how — in the right hands — disrespect, chaos, and a sick sense of humor could be channeled into something wonderful, an irreverent civil disobedience that spat in the face of the Death-Eaters more effectively than any Patronus charm ever could. Harry might be the Boy Who Lived, but Fred and George were the Boys Who Laughed, and which one sounds like more fun to you?
Did we miss your favorite rogue from children’s literature? Let us know in the comments below!