When Mia Wouldn’t Read

Earlier this year, Brandy Mayer, a mother of two girls in Pasadena, California, sent out the APB on Facebook: “Help, Mia has zero interest in reading, but I’m convinced she just hasn’t found the right books. Any chapter book suggestions for 9- to 10-year-olds?”

Admittedly, Mayer was a bit surprised to find herself writing that particular post. When Mia was in first grade, Mayer volunteered in the classroom and heard Mia’s reading skills firsthand. Mia was definitely at grade level, if not a bit advanced.

“You know, in my head, I always thought, ‘She loves reading,’” explained Mayer.

But then, says Mayer, she noticed that Mia had had the same book in her bag for two months. “She was supposed to be reading 20 minutes a day. I said to her, ‘What’s happening? You should be done by now.’”

Mia fessed up — she wasn’t really reading. She was telling her teacher she was reading at home, and telling her grandmother, who watched her in the evenings, that she was reading at school.

“I said, ‘Alright, that’s it. You’re reading with me, honey,’” said Brandy.

Declining interest in books is more common than any book-loving adult might think. Dr. Marie Carbo, founder and executive director of the National Reading Styles Institute, confirmed as much in an interview with ReadingRockets.com: “The motivation to read also tends to decrease as kids get older.” The folks at Reading Is Fundamental have a long list of what not to do when your child won’t read — don’t nag, don’t bribe, don’t judge, don’t criticize, don’t set unrealistic goals and, ironically, don’t make a big deal out of reading.

But what to do?

For Mayer, the Facebook suggestions flooded in — friends suggesting titles or authors their children loved, or that they themselves loved way back when. One pessimistic friend suggested that Mia may never love to read. Another said maybe it was a sign of a learning disorder. One friend suggested a trip to Vroman’s, a much-loved independent bookstore nearby. There was an offer from her sister, a teacher, to do a book club via Skype.

And amidst the book recs, there was what a parent really needs: strategy.

“I have a rule that seems to have fixed the issue (eventually),” wrote Nancy Lisch, a mother of three boys ages ten and under. “If you read the book, you have permission to watch the movie.”

In another comment, she added, “It also helped when I said I would read it, too. He didn’t initially think he would like The Maze Runner; I told him I would read it also and he beat me through the series.”

Six weeks later, here’s what worked.

Mayer went out and bought five of the recommended books, and let Mia read the back to figure out which one she wanted to read first. Mia’s first choice was Holes. “It’s about a bunch of boys in detention! I thought it would be the last one she would pick.” But, she added, “It showed me that what’s interesting to her is surprising to me. I need to not assume.”

Then Mayer instituted the 20-minute rule. Every night, no matter how late, they read aloud — together. “I don’t know if she’s excited about the time we spend together or if it’s the actual reading. But she seems to be liking it — and we always talk about the books.”

“We finished Holes last week and absolutely loved it,” wrote Mayer, as a recap to her initial post. “So much to read, so little time. You, my FB book club, are the best.”

Older kids experience many benefits from read-together time. See The Importance of Reading Aloud to Big Kids.