Learning to Breathe Deep:
Jewel on Never Broken, Motherhood, and Pursuing Happiness
by the Brightly Editors
It seems like Jewel has done it all — her credits range from songwriting and acting, to being a judge on “The Sing-Off” and writing a bestselling memoir, Never Broken: Songs Are Only Half the Story. Most importantly, though, Jewel is a mom, navigating her way through the everyday struggles and joys of parenting. We were thrilled to chat with the multi-talented star about her childhood in Alaska, how writing has served as a kind of therapy for her, readers’ responses to her memoir, and the kids’ books her son adores.
When did you first begin writing, and how did it develop into such a large part of your life?
I began writing when I was about eight, when my mom left and my dad moved us to Homer. I took over my mom’s place in the family show, and began bar-singing with my dad. The stress of being a single parent was overwhelming for my dad, and he turned to drinking and became abusive. It was a painful time. In the bar rooms I had a front row seat to people who were in pain, and I was able to see that drinking and other negative coping mechanisms did not work — no one was able to outrun pain.
Every time I wrote, I noticed I felt calmer and less anxious. Writing took me out of my mind, and I suddenly saw patterns and was able to feel calmer than I did prior to when I sat down to write. I was hooked.
What was your favorite book as a child?
Where the Wild Things Are, by Maurice Sendak.
What role do books play in your family now?
I limit Kase’s screen time to only when we are flying, so we read the rest of the time — and that means a lot of books! It’s been wonderful to share the joys of using your imagination and creating pictures in your own mind while you hear the words. I truly believe this is the best thing I can do for his development.
Your memoir centers around some central themes regarding growth, gratitude, and resilience in the face of hardship (e.g. “Hard wood grows slowly” and “Choose love”). Do you extend any of these lessons to your day-to-day parenting?
The principles I outline in Never Broken definitely inform my parenting. “Hard wood grows slowly” is about stating your values and making sure your everyday actions reflect your values. I have created a list of family values and they are written in Kase’s play room. Whenever I have a teaching opportunity with him, I go back to our family values list and say, “Our family values kindness, so you may not speak rudely to him.” Or I tell him, “Our family values honesty. Do you want to try telling me that story again with honesty?”
What have been some of your son’s favorite books?
My son’s favorite books are the Little Blue Truck series, anything by Dr. Seuss, and If You Give a Mouse an iPhone.
You recently launched a new website. Can you tell us a bit about the inspiration behind it?
I am launching a new website that picks up were my book left off. I decided to do this after an overwhelming response to the 20 principles I outline in the book. Readers have asked if I did specific exercises that allowed me to create new habits in my life and overcome the challenges of abuse, neglect, panic attacks, eating disorders, and much more. So I decided to share the mindfulness exercises I developed for myself, because I really believe happiness is for everyone — we can create meaningful change and find happiness with little more than a willingness to learn and our own internal resources. These principles and exercises took 40 years for me to learn, and if they can help others in less time, then it will have been worth it to create the website. It’s at JewelNeverBroken.com
Looking back as a mom, what would you say to your childhood self now?
Breathe deep — it’s not hypervigilance or worry that will keep you safe, it’s how you learn to transmute pain that ensures you stay intact. You will be okay.
Jewel is an American singer, songwriter, poet, actress, philanthropist, and mother. She has received four Grammy Award nominations and has sold more than thirty million albums worldwide. She is the founder of Project Clean Water, and author of the New York Times bestsellers Never Broken: Songs Are Only Half the Story and A Night Without Armor: Poems, as well as two books for children. Raised in Homer, Alaska, Jewel currently lives in Tennessee and Colorado with her son.