How to Help Kids Find the Funny in Their Fears
by Bethany Barton
Halloween is coming! Soon streets, stores, even snacks will be themed like ghosts and ghouls! Which can be totally fun…
But what do we do when it isnβt?
I love icky things. Monsters? Sign me up! Snakes? Sure, Iβll pet one! Bats? How cute! Spiders? AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
(Thatβs the sound of me running away from my keyboard at the mention of spiders.)
Okay, okay, Iβm exaggerating. But for a long time, spiders were certainly the Kings and Queens of Creepy on my list. So how did I cope with my fears? I wrote a book about spiders, of course!
On my journey to writing my nonfiction picture book, Iβm Trying to Love Spiders, I came across a little girl and her mother in a CVS drugstore. It was a few weeks before Halloween and the aisles were overflowing with costumes and creepy decorations.
βIs THIS scary mommy?β the little girl said, holding up a ghostly rubber mask. She was only around three years old, so βIs dis scawwee mommy?β is probably a more accurate quote. And if her t-shirt was to be trusted, her name was βGrandmaβs Girl.β
βSome people think it is,β her mother responded, with a bit of a shrug. That answer seemed to satisfy Grandmaβs Girl, so she nodded and picked up something else.
This time, a giant wiggly spider. (GASP!) βIs DIS scawee, mommy?β she asked. βSome people think so,β her mother answered patiently, βbut what do you think?β
The little girl faked a shudder, βOoooo! Scaweee!β then giggled, kissed the spider, and tossed it back on the shelf. She continued this line of questioning with every item she could get her hands on.
Why am I telling you this? Because, I hadnβt really thought of it β until I encountered βGrandmaβs Girlβ in that CVS β that in many cases, being scared of something is a choice. And I find that thought wildly empowering! I CAN LIKE THINGS IβM SCARED OF, I tell myself now! (Boldly, and in ALL CAPS!)
Yes, Grandmaβs Girl, spiders are scaweee … but they donβt have to be!
Bethany Bartonβs Totally Unscientific But-Hey-It-Worked-for-Me System to Find the Fun in Your Fears:
1. Learn all you can about the scary thing.
You can find at least three interesting facts about almost every scary thing. Did you know Egypt invented clowns? Or that scorpions glow under black light?
Learning as much as you can about things that scare you helps to dispel the mystery … and with it, lots of the fear!
BONUS: Working with your child to find facts about whatever gives them the creeps also gives them an opportunity to talk about their fear at length with you! And talking always helps!
2. Find something about the scary thing that you can laugh at.
Most creepy things are truly silly when you step back and look at them in the light. Now that youβve learned more about whatever gives you the creeps, itβs time to find the funny in your fears! For every scary-looking monster there are two goofy-looking ones to be found. Black widows might look eerie, but have you seen a video of the Peacock Spider dancing? Those little fellas are hilarious! Laughter is the best diffuser of fear.
3. Talk to someone you trust, and find out how they deal with fear.
Teachers, parents, grandparents … everyone has been scared of something at one point or another. Sharing this common βweβve all been thereβ perspective with your child helps them to understand that fears can be overcome, or at least laughed at!
BONUS: Find stories of people/creatures who truly enjoy that scary thing, and donβt find it scary at all.
Owls love the dark, Katherine Roy loves sharks, just about every icky thing has a number one fan!
In David Sedarisβs book When You Are Engulfed in Flames, Sedaris describes his joy in finding out that the house heβs staying in is also home to many spiders. No, you didnβt read that incorrectly; He was excited about spiders in the house, and welcomed them as pets! (…WHAAAAA?) Reading his essay showed me a whole new way of looking at spiders Iβd never even considered: Spiders can be welcome friends? I didnβt know that was an option!
So where did my journey of βFinding the Funny in My Fearsβ bring me? Well, love is a strong word, but Iβm truly not scared of spiders anymore! (The system works!) In fact, after learning so much about spiders I often get close to them on purpose, just to try and figure out what kind of spider they are.
So Iβve changed my answer, Grandmaβs Girl, spiders are not entirely βscaweeeβ … and isnβt that fun?
-
Books by the Author:
-
I'm Trying to Love Spiders
Also available from:I'm Trying to Love Rocks
Also available from:I'm Trying to Love Garbage
Also available from:I'm Trying to Love Math
Also available from: -
Give Bees a Chance
Also available from: