From Morris Award finalist Sonia Patel comes a sharply written YA about a girl grappling with a dark, painful secret from her past, perfect for fans of All My Rage and The Way I Used to Be.It’s eighteen-year-old Gita Desai’s first year at Stanford, and the fact that she’s here and not already married off by her traditional Gujarati parents is a miracle. She’s determined to death-grip her good-girl, model student rep all the way to med school, which means no social life or standing out in any way. Should be easy: If there’s one thing she’s learned from her family, it’s how to chup-re—to “shut up,” fade into the background. But when childhood memories of her aunt’s desertion and her then-uncle’s best friend resurface, Gita ends up ditching the books night after night in favor of partying and hooking up with strangers. Still, nothing can stop the little voice growing louder and louder inside her that says something is
wrong. . . . And the only way she can burst forward is to stop shutting up about the past.
“Funny, messy, gut-wrenching.”—
Kirkus Reviews
On sale: September 10, 2024
Age: 14 and up
Grade: Grade 9 & Up
Page count: 400 Pages
ISBN: 9780593463185
Reading level: Lexile: HL700L
Sonia Patel writes out of her experience as a first-generation Indian American born in New York and raised in Hawaii, an experience lushly and brilliantly explored in her debut novel,
Rani Patel in Full Effect.
Rani received four starred reviews and was a Morris Award finalist and a YALSA’s Best Fiction for Young Adults and
Kirkus Reviews’ Best Teen Books selection. Her subsequent young adult novels,
Jaya and Rasa: A Love Story and
Bloody Seoul, both received the In the Margins Book Award. Her short story, “Nothing Feels No Pain,” appears in the YA anthology
Ab(solutely) Normal. As a child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist trained at Stanford University and the University of Hawaii, Patel has spent over twenty years providing individual and family psychotherapy to children, adolescents, and their families. She lives in Honolulu with her husband, and they have two adult children in college.
“Patel, whose own experiences inform this story, infuses Gita’s first-person narration with thoughtfulness and humor that make her growing confusion and self-loathing cut deeply. Thankfully, Gita’s friends are there to support her when she finally finds her voice. . . . A tough read that's worth the discomfort.”—
Kirkus Reviews
“This searing 1992-set novel by Patel explores the ways that prolonged abuse can shape behavior. . . . While Gita’s journey toward finding her own voice is plagued by male characters who—both intentionally and unconsciously—cause her physical and mental harm, bright spots in the form of her kindhearted older brother and supportive gay peer help to carry the burden.” —
Publishers Weekly
"Gita's naivete and repressed sexual desires lend themselves to an upbringing void of trust and open dialogue. Autobiographical in part to Patel's own story, many passages can be uncomfortable, but Gita reclaiming her voice is worth the journey." —
Booklist
