3 New Must-Have Books About Strength, Resilience, and Grit
by Jennifer Ridgway
Books that feature true strength, resilience, and grit — whether the story follows an actual person or event, or a character borne of the author’s imagination — can be profoundly inspiring. Life throws a lot of curveballs, and reading about how others tap into their strengths and draw from them can help us, as readers, think about how to face our own challenges.
In Michelle Kuo’s memoir Reading with Patrick, an boy from Arkansas who has been left behind by society finds strength in books and writing. Sarah Healy tells the tale of two sisters who find the resilience to move forward on their own after their mother dies in her novel The Sisters Chase. And, for those looking to build and encourage the strengths of their children, Lea Waters’s parenting guide The Strength Switch teaches us how to parent to our kids’ strengths for better lifelong outcomes.
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Reading with Patrick: A Teacher, a Student, and a Life-Changing Friendship
Available from:In this moving memoir, Michelle Kuo, a first-generation Taiwanese American, walks readers through her decision to enter the Teach for America program after graduating from Harvard, much to the dismay of her parents. Kuo faced her own share of racism and xenophobia as she grew up and, wanting to somehow make a difference, chose to commit to teaching for two years at a high school in Helena, Arkansas, located in one of America’s poorest counties.
Stars, the school where Kuo was placed, was an “alternative” or “second chance” school, where students were sent as a last resort. As an English teacher, Kuo tried to reach these students — who she’d continually observed falling through the cracks, often due to circumstances beyond their control — and engage with them around reading and writing, not an easy task when many were barely literate. But Patrick, one of the students she encountered at Stars, really began to shine as he was given the encouragement to write and explore literature.
When Kuo’s two-year commitment to the program came to an end, she bowed to parental pressures and decided to go to Harvard Law School rather than continue to teach at Stars. Then, just as she was embarking upon her new law career, she discovered that Patrick had been arrested for stabbing a man and was in jail awaiting trial. In an unexpected turn, Kuo decided to return to the Delta and resume her teaching one-on-one with Patrick, helping him earn his GED.
Reading with Patrick is, on the surface, the memoir of a teacher. It is a story about the impact a teacher can have on a student. It is about the power of reading, writing, and expression. It is also about the many mistakes Kuo made along the way and about the failures of our country’s educational system. It shines a light on the legacy of Jim Crow and institutionalized racism, and it reflects upon the state of the criminal justice system. Above all, it is a heartbreaking, inspiring, empathetic, and beautifully written account of one person trying to make a difference by using her strengths to help others discover theirs.
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The Sisters Chase
When their mother dies, sisters Mary and Hannah are only 18 years old and 4 years old, respectively. To make matters worse, the Jersey Shore hotel their mother owned is in debt, their only inheritance is an insurance payout, and they have no close family to turn to. But Mary spares nothing to ensure that she can provide for Hannah.
The sisters set out on a journey, crisscrossing the country. Mary’s actions are frequently questionable at best, dangerous at their worst — but the two share an unbreakable bond that weathers many storms. Initially, it appears they’re just wandering from place to place chasing some sort of peace and a place to call home, but eventually it becomes apparent that Mary does indeed have a plan and a final destination. Healy eschews big “reveals” for a slow unraveling — as the story progresses, she drops hints about the mystery, and begins to unveil family secrets.
A book that defies typical categorization, The Sisters Chase is part adventure story, part mystery, and part family drama, mother-daughter story, and sisterhood story. It’s also a coming-of-age story. It reflects life itself — we all find ourselves caught up in multiple storylines along the way.
A warning to the reader that this isn’t the most uplifting book. Despite the sisters’ resilience and strength, their life is tough, and they can never seem to catch a break. Yet, The Sisters Chase kept me engaged and had me quickly turning the pages as I wondered how Mary and Hannah’s story would end.
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The Strength Switch: How the New Science of Strength-Based Parenting Can Help Your Child and Your Teen to Flourish
Available from:I first picked up The Strength Switch by Lea Waters because it seemed like a natural outgrowth of “positive discipline,” a parenting philosophy I aim to adhere to. The central idea behind this new book is that as parents, caregivers, and teachers, we should focus on children’s strengths rather than trying to fix their weaknesses. As humans, we innately have a negativity bias, which leads us to focus on and remember the bad — what our children do wrong, what they need to work on, etc. However, Waters writes, “Attention on the negative helped us survive. Attention on the positive helps us thrive.”
With 20 years of research and experience in the field of positive psychology (10 of them focused on parenting), Waters has written my favorite type of parenting book: It melds scientific research with accessible analysis and exercises for the reader to do, including practical strategies and real-life anecdotes to see the methods in practice. Part One, “Laying the Foundation,” explains how strength-based parenting fits into our general attitudes toward parenting, how to define and understand strengths, and how strengths grow and change as children grow and change. Part Two, “Building Strengths,” is just that: It shows how you and your child can build upon their strengths using various techniques such as mindfulness and self-control. Waters cites many resources throughout the book and includes a strengths test for both adults and children (discovering your own strengths is an important part of the process!) and a list of other websites to help support and enhance your knowledge. The website for the book is also a great ancillary resource.
The Strength Switch approach isn’t about drowning kids in false praise or creating an environment in which they never face obstacles or hardship. Instead, the idea is to give them real praise that is based on their unique strengths, helping them learn that their strengths make them unique and will help them succeed. I found myself frequently highlighting passages as I read along, for my family to refer back to as my children age and go through school.
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